Rising from the Ashes of Despair

by Peter Nicholls
(Adelaide, Australia)

I don’t particularly like the word ‘happiness’. It’s a vague term that smacks of unfulfilled hope. “I’ll be happy when…” is a bit like the donkey with the carrot – always dangling in front of you but never quite able to reach it.

True happiness can only be experienced in the present, an experience in which you are – right now - enjoying feeling good about yourself. Consider the following statement: When you lose yourself in an interest you love, you find yourself.

When you become so absorbed in an interest that you lose all sense of time and place and the real you comes to life. Your pulse quickens, your eyes sparkle, your enthusiasm grows, and your senses of creativity and imagination blossom. You could say you feel happy. But meaningful happiness is much more than feeling good. Let me explain.

A few years ago, I was having two major life crises at the one time. They went on for months and steadily my self esteem and self confidence levels sank to zero. During this time I was approached to join a choir. Much as I had always loved singing, I was totally consumed in my problems and wallowing in self pity. I instinctively said no.

The requests to join the choir kept coming and I kept saying no. Eventually I felt worn down and agreed to give it a go. After all, a couple of hours a week of choir rehearsal might give me some escape from my problems.

At my first rehearsal the choir director said “Peter, welcome! We are so glad you are here”. I hadn’t heard the word welcome for a long time… and when the choir burst into applause, I raised my eyebrows in mild surprise.

Soon the director was telling me, “Peter, you have a good voice, you are fitting in well”. Soon I was being encouraged to take on special group and even solo pieces. I was warming to this new form of attention. Early reticence gradually turned to enthusiastic enjoyment.

Choir rehearsals are very tiring and one sleeps well afterwards. But I was leaving rehearsals with an energised feeling. Positive things were beginning to happen to me. I was slowly starting to again feel good about myself – not just at choir rehearsal but into the next day and beyond, with a ripple effect flowing into everything else I was doing. My confidence and self belief were rising and my self esteem increased.

The passionate, positive Peter I am today owes a huge amount to that decision to join the choir – and to the friend who persisted in urging me to do so.

Happiness is an attitude. It’s about responding positively to events and experiences affecting you. Happiness comes from the free expression of your unique authentic self, your natural talents, passions, interests and skills. It’s more life-expanding than simply having a good time.

Happiness is the positive ripple effect that flows through everything you do each day, lifting your self esteem, self confidence, self belief and sense of self worth.

When you lose yourself in an interest you love, you don’t avoid the bad things that happen to you. Rather, you create new mental and emotional strength to survive and thrive, enabling your natural potential to blossom.

So follow your passions. Even when life seems sad, there’s a good chance happiness won’t be far behind.