A Spin to Real Happiness

by Therese Reed
(San Francisco, CA, USA)

There is a time in each of our lives that leaves us with this feeling of sadness and despair. Its cause could be associated with the loss of a loved one, a relationship ending, or something else.

In my case, it was the ending of a six year relationship. This relationship was always a very dramatic one, but I was kind of used to the ups and downs and never did I think it would end until one day I came home from work and found my fiancée sitting on our front porch waiting for me.

When asked what was wrong, he responded "I think we should break up." I had no idea this would happen. I didn't know what to say. I was shocked, followed by confusion and hurt. Here I was, thinking I was going to marry this man, and he was ready to give it all up after six years!

We had our issues, but all couples have them. Watching him pack his bags was the hardest thing I had to watch. The only thing I kept on thinking was... How am I going to survive this? How will I ever be happy again?

At the time, he was all I had. Those first couple of months after he moved out of the home we shared were extremely difficult. Happiness was not a word in my vocabulary and I sure didn’t think I could ever learn to be happy again.

Consumed by emotions I’d never experienced before, I fell into depression. I stayed at home in my pajamas, felt sorry for myself, and limited my time to just go to work and come back home like a lifeless machine. I just took my family's phone calls and let in a couple of friends who insisted on dropping by.

Eventually, after one of those two friends expressed concern about my behavior, I decided enough was enough. I had to make a change and I knew it was going to take some effort on my part.

I knew moving on was going to be difficult after my break-up but I could find happiness again, with or without a partner. When I took a look at myself, I saw this individual that had been so absorbed into a relationship that she lost part of who she really was.

I knew the key to overcoming this was to find myself all over again and start doing the things that had made me happy before I met him and that I had forgotten about. I also reflected on things that I always wanted to do and had never followed through.

The first thing at the top of my list was to go back to school. I had dropped out of college due to financial problems and never went back. Here was my chance to shine. So, I started taking a few classes that I could afford. This occupied my time and kept me from thinking about the breakup.

In time, I started meeting new people and feeling good again. Today, I’m a college graduate and currently working on my Master’s Degree. I have to add, I was very fortunate. Returning to school not only allowed me to achieve my educational goals but I also found a wonderful man who I plan to spend the rest of my life with. Happiness is so important in one’s life.

Of course we all go through some trying times but the most important thing in life is to never lose yourself. It feels so good to be happy again. I now understand that losing my partner was an opportunity that life gave me to rediscover myself, meet my true partner and be happy again.